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Why Rewards Charts, Bargaining, and Stickers Fall Flat: A Parent's Perspective


Hey there, fellow parents!


Welcome back to Slumber Squad, your go-to spot for all things parenting wisdom and support. Today, let's dive into a topic that's near and dear to many of us: the good ol' rewards charts, bargaining, and sticker systems. You know, those trusty tactics we've all tried at some point to coax our kids into doing what we need them to do. But are they really as effective as they seem?


Let's get real for a moment. Sure, rewards charts and stickers might get our little ones to pick up their toys or finish their veggies—for a hot minute. But what happens when they outgrow the excitement of earning a sticker or a small treat? And trust me, they will. Just like that favorite toy they once couldn't live without, rewards have a way of losing their sparkle over time.


Imagine this: Your little one is all grown up, navigating the complexities of adolescence. You're trying to convince them to stay on top of their homework, a task that's crucial for their academic success. You offer them a sticker or a small reward in exchange for completing their assignments. Yeah, good luck with that. The allure of procrastination and instant gratification far outweighs the appeal of a measly sticker.


And don't even get me started on using rewards to coerce our kids into doing chores. Sure, it might get the job done in the short term, but at what cost? We're not just teaching them to tick off boxes for a reward; we're missing out on the opportunity to instill a sense of responsibility and self-motivation that'll serve them for life.


Let's bring it home with a personal example. Take my son, Holden. When he was littler, stickers were his currency. I could get him to do just about anything with the promise of a shiny sticker at the end. But as he got older (he's still a toddler but still), stickers lost their magic. Suddenly, getting him to clean up his toys or go to the potty became an uphill battle. It wasn't until I shifted my approach, focusing on intrinsic motivation and fostering his sense of responsibility, that I saw real change.


So, what's the alternative? How do we raise kids who don't need a gold star or a cookie to do the right thing? It starts with shifting our focus from external rewards to intrinsic motivation. It's about nurturing their inner drive and resilience, celebrating their efforts, and creating an environment where they feel valued and empowered.


As parents, we're in this together. Let's ditch the stickers and the bargaining and focus on raising kids who tackle life's challenges head-on, not because of a reward, but because it's the right thing to do.


Join us next time for more real talk and practical parenting tips. Until then, keep on slumbering, squad!


With love and solidarity, Your friends at Slumber Squad

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